Your Holiday Checklist

Navigating your first
Christmas alone

Are you worried about how you will manage Christmas this year? Is it your first without your children at home with you? Perhaps you had to find a new home after separation, and you are struggling with sadness?  Are friends inviting you to spend time with them but you just feel like hiding away?

As a Break-up Divorce Coach, I hear from Dads and Mums struggling with coping with holidays alone following separation and divorce. The holiday season can be an especially painful time for anyone going through a breakup or divorce, whether it’s the children, the grandparents, or the wider family. Family breakdown affects everyone involved.
It’s so important to take care of yourself and prioritise your well-being during this time, know how to do this can seem extremely challenging. So here’s a coping with holidays checklist to help you navigate this difficult period.  Even if you only manage one thing on this list it will make a big difference to how you feel:

1. Give yourself permission to feel: It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or lonely during the holidays. Allow yourself to experience these emotions and don’t try to suppress them.  Write them down in a journal as getting the feelings out helps you feel more valued.2. Set boundaries: If spending time with certain people or attending certain events feels overwhelming, it’s okay to say no. Set boundaries that prioritise your emotional well-being.  This means actively finding like things that make you feel a bit better.3. Create new traditions: This is an opportunity to establish new holiday traditions that bring you joy. Whether it’s volunteering, taking a trip, or simply spending time at home doing something you love, find ways to create new traditions that resonate with you.  Helping others has saved many from their own misery.4. Practice self-care: Make self-care a priority during the holidays. This could include getting plenty of rest, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation.  This can feel impossible but you are valuable and worth looking after.5. Lean on support: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who understand what you’re going through. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.  Sometimes strangers can offer comfort,  people who have been through what you are going through.  They know from experience that it can get better and they will be able to share how they did it to help you find your own route through. 6. Seek professional help: If you find yourself struggling to cope with the holidays, consider seeking the help of a specialist break-up coach who can provide you with the support and guidance you need. As a coach, I have been through heartbreak and separation and choose to help others find a way to fall and move forward.7. Stay present: Focus on being present in the moment and try not to dwell on the past or worry too much about the future. Mindfulness techniques can be helpful in staying grounded and centered.  This is difficult and takes practice.  The mind gets used to thinking in a certain way about what has happened. Being calm can feel like it will let in scary thoughts, however with help and guidance you can learn to think and feel differently about what has happened and what the future holds for you.

Remember that healing takes time, and it’s okay to take things one day at a time. By taking care of yourself and implementing these coping strategies, you can navigate the holidays with greater ease and begin to move forward in your healing journey.

Call or message today for a free chat about how to deal with the emotional turmoil of this difficult time so you can find some peace from the storm.