Unmasking Coercive Control: The Importance of Expertise in Toxic Relationship Therapy
As a psychotherapist and break-up divorce coach with 25 years of experience, I’ve had the privilege of working with countless individuals and couples facing the challenging journey of breaking free from toxic relationships. Over the years, I’ve witnessed the complexities that arise when such couples decide to seek help through therapy. In this blog post, I’ll shed light on a critical issue that often remains hidden in these scenarios: coercive control.
Coercive control is a dangerous form of psychological abuse that leaves victims feeling scared, threatened, and emotionally undermined. Its impact isn’t limited to the victim alone; it often extends to their children and even their wider circle of friends and family, who can unwittingly come under the spell of the abuser. What many people don’t realize is that not all therapists are equipped to identify and address the signs of coercive abuse effectively.
Imagine a scenario where a toxic or controlling person skilfully manipulates the therapist, convincing them that all the issues lie with their partner. Despite the therapist’s genuine attempts to maintain neutrality, the lack of specialised training can lead to a skewed perspective. This situation can worsen significantly, turning therapy into a tool used by the abuser to validate their narrative while perpetuating the victim’s distress.
This issue is close to my heart, as I’ve not only worked with clients facing these challenges but have also experienced it personally as a couples therapy client. It happens because the same empathy that often keeps us in abusive relationships can also impact therapists, causing them to empathise with the abuser, who appears to be trying to help their partner but is, in fact, the root cause of their suffering.
Recognising the unfairness and potential dangers of this situation, I underwent specialised training with Sara Davison’s Master Practitioner programme. This program allowed me to collaborate with a domestic violence charity and support victims of abuse, giving me valuable insights and tools to help those trapped in toxic relationships.
If this resonates with you, and you find yourself in a toxic relationship or know someone who does, I encourage you to take action. Seek support from a professional who truly understand the complexities of coercive control and its devastating impact. You don’t have to navigate this challenging journey alone.
I offer a free 20-minute discovery call to discuss your unique situation and explore how I can support you in breaking free from the toxic relationship and moving towards a healthier, happier future. It’s time to prioritise your well-being and take the first step towards reclaiming your life.
Don’t let coercive control continue to dictate your narrative. Book your free discovery call today and start your journey towards healing and freedom. Your future self will thank you for it.
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